Not only that but like, overwhelmingly sex in media is portrayed as this steamy, well-oiled, SERIOUS machine. Like… where’s the fun? Pop culture seems to be so obsessed with this communication-less pantomime of actual intimacy rather than the reality of intimacy going hand in hand with not only consideration but humour and mutual vulnerability.
Sex is by nature so awkward and odd and it NEVER works the way you see in films or on tv. It’s never seamless and perfect and that is not a BAD THING.
You’re not “doing it wrong” if you’re having problems getting a good rhythm and keep messin’ each other up by trying to help.
You’re not doing it wrong if you’re laughing and talking and not taking it seriously.
And additionally, and now this is a complete tangent from the original point here, but you’re not doing it wrong if you don’t manage to get off or get your partner off.
Sometimes sex is just the action and not the climax and that’s COMPLETELY FINE. My partner and I struggled a LOT with this when we first started having sex because we both had terrible guilt when we couldn’t reach climax or couldn’t get the other off because we felt like that was what the whole point of sex was.
Media puts a lot of PRESSURE on sex and what it looks like that shouldn’t be there and it’s AWFUL.
The focus is just so … wrong.